AJ Alanson, Author

Twenty-six years after I had sent these pastels as gifts, they came back to me with a request: take them to a framer and have them matted, glassed and framed. Because I had created these candid portraits of three sons over the course of a year and each time, mailed them off, this moment a couple of weeks ago was the first time I had seen them again in a quarter century, and the first time I had ever seen them together. I’ve grown and changed as an artist, writer, musician, and gardener, but one thing has always stayed the same, this one truth: I have only ever kept in my life those things I have given away.

I know, that doesn’t make sense on the surface, but bare with me. I’ve lost everything four separate times in my years. Through divorce, catastrophic fire, and economic crash, I have found myself reduced to a car full of my stuff and the belief that I could rebuild. Oddly, I had a sense of freedom – of lightness – as I stood, again, and again, at the crossroads.

Now, it sounds as though I like completely starting over. I don’t, and the older I get, the don’t-er I feel about it, but this is HOW we start over. By looking for the positives, believing in ourselves, and trusting in the handful of good people we have around us. Stripped of everything else, we need our relationships.

Relationships travel lightly in our backpack, or Gremlin, or carry-on. They weigh nothing but have the power to anchor our comeback. Ask any world traveler, any newcomer to a community, any immigrant. Without our people, our odds of rising again shrink – a fact so potent that it is often used to control entire populations.

To that end, pay it forward. Stuff the bank with your time, your talent, your connections, all that you can give, because eventually the crossroads come for all of us. And the bits of your life lost along the way will be found in your relationships. Your people will hold them for you, curate your talents, and archive your accomplishments – just in case you might someday need them.

You’re giving to others, freely and sincerely, but you are also leaving love notes to your future self. And if that day comes when you are starting all over again, you’ll likely find that the only things you have left will be those you gave away.

The 10th book in the Admiral Inn Mystery and Adventure series, A Wolf in the Cove, is now available in paperback and ebook on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G83JJ4VG

And book 11, A Snitch in the ??? (I don’t know yet) is rolling off the keyboard. I’m actually writing the last two books at the same time so I can wind up the entire arc. With such a cold, snowy, wintery winter, I like staying close to the fireplace, writing. Also, I’m booting up my newsletter after all these years. I’m not going to gate-keep with it though – not that ole “give me your email or no cookies for you” schtick. Just subscribe to my blog and I’ll take care of the rest. I’m simply finding there are bits of housekeeping and announcements now that things are growing. Like the fact that I’ll be teaching a class on writing at the Wesleyan Wasch Center in March. Writing to Publish Open to everyone. I’d love to see you there!